Read a funny thing this morning

While waiting for iTunes to get its arse in gear and hurry up, I found this. It made me laugh.

Diary of One Who Employs a Cleaner

So you think you've got the answer to all your cleaning problems... get a cleaner! It's simple. Or is it? The following diary written by someone who employs a cleaner might make you think again.

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7.30am Cleaner due in 90 minutes. Aaargh! Mad rush to clean, dust, spritz, buff and polish things so that cleaner doesn't think I'm a slob (she would of course be right). Hide dirty underwear. Bin really dirty underwear. Hide 'dirty' (ie provocative) underwear so cleaner doesn't think I'm kinky.
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8am Leave house to avoid encountering cleaner - she thinks I have a proper nine to five job.
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9am Realise I've forgotten to leave money for cleaner.
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9.30am Return home to encounter cleaner reading my mail. Embarrassed exchange of pleasantries and 20 quid2.
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9.45am Point out that windows need cleaning. Cleaner sniffs. 'Don't do windows 'cos of me back'. Neither does she do 'fridges, ovens, chip pans or cat litter'. (I don't have a cat. Perhaps she is trying to tell me my flat smells a bit?)
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10am Cleaner makes tea, complains about lack of milk and asks whether I'm going to be late for work.
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11am - 5pm Mooch around shops trying not to think about what cleaner might be poking about with in my flat. Contemplate shinning up drainpipe and peering through window, then remember it's too dirty to see through.
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6pm Return home. Admire the way cleaner has moved every single item of furniture. Spend three hours moving it all back, and thus uncovering stains which cleaner couldn't be arsed to clean.
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9pm Note marked absence of biscuits, tea, pile of nicely ironed clothes and assorted newspapers marked 'please do not chuck out as I haven't read these yet'.
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10pm Sit down to watch video recording of Eastenders screened earlier on in the evening3.
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10.05pm Discover that cleaner unplugged video and reset it.
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10.06pm Watch unwanted eight hour video of International Golf, before falling asleep and having violent dreams about disembowelment of cleaner with a Dyson crevice tool.

Repeat once a week as necessary, and say out loud, rhetorically, 'This is 'labour-saving'?'

Spent a couple of hours today restoring a photo that was sent to me last year by a flickr friend of mine. It's a lovely photo of a paddling pool that was taken around the time I used to go there with my Mother and Brother and taken at near enough the exact place where we sat.
Restoring this photo took hours. There were hundreds of dust marks that had to be removed and hairs and stains. It now looks a lot better, not perfect but the best I could get it.

We went to Slimming world tonight. I was expecting have gained about 4 or 5 pounds after being away camping and drinking last weekend. Suprisingly enough I only gained 2 pounds. I pleased with that.

Me & Paul O'Neill

originally uploaded by Robin.Smith.

Got a chance to meet and have a chat with Paul O'Neill of the Sunshine.co.uk team at Oulton Park.

It's been a strange sort of day for me today. Nothing really happened but I feel on a bit of a downer after such a great weekend camping at the motor racing.
Sorting out a couple of hundred photos filled a couple of hours. It's suprising how good they look on the camera but on the pc, they are blurred to hell. It's bloody annoying.
Had a nice suprise though today. I managed to get into a pair of size 38 shorts. It's the first time in years I've been able to do that. The diet must be paying off.

Oulton here we come

Just a quick update today as we have loads to do. Off to Oulton Park for the weekend. I've tried to take precautions this time. Inflatable mattress instead of of a camp bed, painkillers, smaller bag to carry while there instead of my camera rucksack. Fingers crossed for a trouble free weekend in the pain stakes.
D is excited as she has never been camping before, plus she can chill for a couple of days and also meet her heartthrob driver, Tom Chilton.
Slimming World update: lost 2 pound this week to take my weight loss to 1 stone 2 pounds. Only 13 pound to go to initial target weight. This weekend may temporarily throw a spanner in the works but I'm expecting that, so back on diet as soon as I get back.>

Withdrawal

I have been feeling quite out of sorts for the last week. Not been sleeping properly, suffering from restless leg syndrome, feeling really hot at night even though the house is cold. I've not been able to concentrate on things. I got told off by my o/h the other day for ignoring what people were saying to me when we had guests. I didn't know anyone had spoken to me.
There were a few other things as well that were making me at odds with myself but I has just twigged on why I'm feeling like this. I have, in the last 5 days stopped using my Fentanyl patches for my back pain. Now for anyone who's not sure what Fentanyl is, it's a strong opioid pain killer which is most commonly prescribed in patches. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fentanyl
It is apparently approx 100% more potent that morphine, so it shows how strong it is.
I have been taking this for quite a while now for pain that I have from a prolapsed disk in my back. I knew about the restless leg syndrome ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restless_legs_syndrome ) when I didn't use the patches but for so strange reason, I didn't give it a second thought about withdrawal symptoms from coming off the patch. By rights you are meant to decrease the dosage over a period of time.
I know you are proberly calling me a stupid whatever but I have my reasons.
At least now I know why I feel weird at the moment. It's been frustrating not knowing, but now I can feel a bit happier with knowledge.

A quick Slimming World update

Sorry, I have just realised that I never posted and update about my weight last week after going to Slimming World on Thursday. Well, I lost four and a half pounds with got me to exactly one stone, I've lost in two weeks. Yehhhh!!!



These are my half stone and stone awards.
I even won a free week so don't have to pay this week.